Dance Fever

Prior to our sicknesses now, we had one of our memorable Family Dance Parties. We all love these!! They usual begin with Aaron playing guitar, Audrey on harmonica and Ellie on plastic recorder. Then it progresses to a CD being played loud for all to dance to....

Tired & Humbled: Momma Thoughts on More Children.

God's a funny man.

Every single time, with out fail, that I have ever even remotely expressed/written or even thought that I am the most patient mother in the universe, I am quickly--sometimes very quickly--reminded that I am in fact not. I am not patient.

I AM NOT PATIENT!

I actually am pretty patient....which I say very quietly and hesitantly....but lately I am reminded that I am not as patient a Mommy as I thought I was under trying times.

Both of the Little Girlies are sick right now. Sometimes my "humble reminders" come in the form of sickness, and this time is one of those times. Now before I go on, let me assure you that just because the Girls get sick in the future doesn't, necessarily, mean that I have shouted from the rooftops something along the lines of, "This is Easy! Give me a challenge!". But today I am going to confess that may be partially the truth.

Last weekend I was able to go away with 8 other girls, all Mommas, to a beautiful favorite beach not too far away. We had no husbands, no children, no napping/meal schedules, no rules! It was a refreshing change of scenery, and a wonderful opportunity to hear the hearts of these woman as well as laugh a ton, eat yummy food, drink good champagne & wine and simply, Relax. Besides building the friendships, I still can't decide what my favorite part about the weekend was, the surprisingly beautiful weather, having others cook for me or sleeping in until 9:30!!!! But none-the-less it was a great weekend.

During one of our lengthy conversations about our children who weren't there (of course they still came up lots and lots in convo!), the question was posed to the group: "Do you want to have any more children?" Every girl there has 2 children besides one girl who has 3. We all went around and gave our answer. They were all similar answers, phrased slightly differently...

"No, we're done."

"We'll probably have one more."

"We're okay with more, but we feel done right now."

etc. etc.

Then it was my turn to answer. I smiled and confidently said:

"I feel like I'm just getting started!"

Honestly, most days I do. I love so many parts about being a Mommy, I feel like I have SO much overflowing love for my two girls right now. I feel excited at the possibility to love on an entirely different little person. Oh I can only imagine what other child is waiting for me to Love them! I sometimes feel sad imagining myself "out" of this stage of my life, this child rearing babyhood/toddler years. Every once in awhile Aaron and I talk about what 3 children might look like for our family. I sometimes feel sad thinking about going through this short period of time only "one more time". Being apart of the miracle of a Life! Going through pregnancy, labor (yes I said labor), birthing and those first weeks of blurriness that you never, ever get back with that child. I sometimes daydream about the newness of a tiny newborn again and how exciting each and every little movement or sound or facial expression is.

When I see a pregnant Momma with her first child...

I put myself back to that unsure, emotional time of excitement and unknowns and so many "what if" questions. And then I think to hours after giving birth, holding this tiny little Gift in my arms and vividly remembering how beautifully perfect everything seemed. I try to imagine what is going through a pregnant Mommy's mind and sometimes send them mental thoughts of "You have no idea what is coming & life will never be the same....but it is going to be okay. And so much of your new life is going to be far better than you could have ever dreamt."

When I see a pregnant Momma with a young toddler...

I think back to the unknowns of how to balance it all, how to make each child feel loved and cared for, and how on earth will I ever sleep again? I send that Mommy mental thoughts of "You are doubting every bit of yourself and thinking back to the challenging parts of having a newborn, but with time, it will truly be easier than you thought...You are going into this baby with experience and wisdom...You will be fine."

Basically a lot of my friends think I'm well, a little crazy. I continue to hear phrases like "I just want to pop them out already so I can move on with my life!". It makes me sad for these Moms because I hope they are not missing out on the littlest of little details that sometimes make the days seem really long. All to "get on with" their lives?? I sure hope their children don't feel that way. It makes me sad that some woman do not enjoy Motherhood. It's not all roses and jelly beans over here day in and day out, but I cherish so much of the littlest gestures Audrey will make or the funniest look Ellie gives when she is in trouble, that I am in awe at how meaningful my role is as their Mother. And it reminds me that I am made for this.

Truly. It's the only thing I absolutely know for sure. I was created to be a Mom. Their Mom. That doesn't mean I'm great at it. I sometimes discipline inconsistently, I sometimes give in when I have previously stated reasons why the answer is "no" very firmly... I never get up before the girls anymore, they are my alarm clocks. I sometimes shut the gate to the kitchen & instruct no one to come in only so I can push all the buttons on the coffee maker all by myself and pour the sugar all by myself and stir everything and not make a single mess! I sometimes turn on cartoons first thing in the morning and show after show will go on before I realize I got so sleepy sitting there with them that I forgot to make breakfast! I sometimes am in the middle of a phone call or texting conversation with a Mommy-friend and realize messes are being made, things are broken and Audrey is learning phrases like "Mom, pay attention to me!" I am disorganized and my home is often untidy.

I have plenty, plenty! of faults and lazy tendencies. But I also have a lot of Love.

So back to my little comment at the beach house?

I'm Just Getting Started??

How completely arrogant! Why couldn't I have just said "Oh we'd like to have more eventually" or something vague like "If it happens it happens!"

But no, I have to have this Little House on the Prairie image of the big farmhouse with a dozen of our well-behaved HEALTHY little helper children running around in their homemade dresses drinking fresh-squeezed orange juice & after completing their home school work they quickly ask me what chores I would like for them to do... Oh my, is that really my dream? Honestly, I've never even seen that show/movie/book?

And now? Back to Reality? After a few rocky nights "sleep" with these little girlies being sick and snotty and not able to breath through their noses and both equally pining for my attention, my hugs, my close scent all day long. Ellie Lu has become quite the needy little girl, leading up to this sickness and now that she isn't feeling well? Very few moments of quiet from her. If she is not in my arms you can hear her. Mostly tearless cries, screams really. We blamed it on teeth for a few days there. Then it was maybe a growth spurt or nearing a milestone/adding to her vocabulary, etc...I've tried everything, and I've tried to meet every need. And today at the suggestion of my husband, who was getting the blunt of my snappy attitude and frustration, I put ear plugs into my ears and kept them in for 2 hours! Of course the cries didn't go away. I could still hear her! But I was able to think a little more clearly with the faint sound of cries in the distance... I've never been so annoyed with my child's crying. I have never felt so frustrated for this long of a time. I get more frustrated at myself when I wonder if this is "all I can handle??" Will I just continue to get more and more impatient with each child in our family, when stressful stretches arise?? I don't know what my dreams are anymore.....

I do know that God is a loving God who has given me capabilities as a Wife & Mother, specifically for Aaron, Audrey and Ellie Lu. I know that He wants me to be at my best for them, and He wants me to remember that I will fail, and that He never will. I know that He won't give me more than I can handle, and that my eagerness to love on more of His children is a gift straight from Him.

My hope & prayer as a daughter of Jesus Christ is that I will make Him proud of the gifts He has given me. I hope & prayer that my children feel loved and cared for, even when I make mistakes. I hope & pray that I can continue to ask for guidance and wisdom because you know what? It works.

I hope & pray I can continue to be humbled again like this (what, am I really asking for this feeling again?), so that I may be reminded that I AM NOT IN CONTROL. I can only control my reaction to whatever situation we are in. Sick girls included.

And I hope & pray that I may be given the opportunity to Mother another--or many more--child(ren), depending on what God allows and not necessarily what we as a couple decide.

And I hope & pray that we all get some rest tonight!!!!!!!

Goodnight world!

So much more weakbutt going on

For the record, the following phrases have been said since my last post....

Said to Mommy:

"Can we sing the weakbutt song again?"

(Mommy changes "they are weak but" to "they are weak and"..gets interrupted by..)

"No Mom, sing the weakbutt song!"

(whispering in my ear) "Momma...I have a secret.......... weakbutt."

"Guess what Mom?....weakbutt."

"Mom I'm all done! ...Come wipe my weakbottom please!"

Said to Babysitter:

"Do you know about weakbutt?" (babysitter shyly says, 'what is that?')

(her answer) "Weeeeeakbuuuuutt."

Said to Grandma Lu, after requesting to call her on phone:

"Hi Gramma! ....weakbutt!"

"Can we call Grandpa now and tell him 'weakbutt?'"

I tried the whole "lets say 'bottom' instead" thing, but frankly, it's not a big deal. It's just an innocent simple silly new phrase. The only part that is a tiny bit sad for me is this beautiful song I've sang her the last 3 years of her life has now taken a turn and gone from "soothing & calming" to "makes her want to repeat it and crack up laughing". But I did laugh first, sooo...

It's especially shocking during the most unexpected moments like when an older neighbor stopped by the other day and Audrey wanted to dance for her and with each twirl she would stop and say "Weakbutt!"

You can't with them all, so why not laugh along!

And for the record, I still find it hilarious.

...Jesus Loves Me...

Jesus Loves Me, this I know

For the Bible tells me so,

Little Ones to Him belong,

They are weak but He is strong...

Yes Jesus Loves Me

Yes Jesus Loves Me

Yes Jesus Loves Me

The Bible tells me so...

This song is imprinted on my heart.

It's been a favorite song of mine since I was a child.

It's a simple but personable lesson & reminder of God's Grace upon me, Ginny.

From the time Audrey was fresh out of my safe warm womb I have sang her this lullaby. It's my song just for her. She has been completely calmed by these lyrics in a number of sad hysterical circumstances.

I have fallen asleep singing this on repeat while nursing or rocking baby Audrey.

I highly recommend adopting one song in particular for your child, it is a sort of go-to place where we escape together to anytime, anywhere.

For Ellie, it's been a different song.

Last night was a rough time getting Audrey to fall asleep. Normally she does fine, with the occasional request of an animal she forgot to take with her to bed, or one last potty trip. But every once in awhile she just has some trouble. Of course last nights "trouble" was due to having a few busy days in a row and two days worth of skipping naps...

Eventually I found myself leaning into her bed trying to calm her down and after talking softly for a bit I went right into "Jesus Loves Me".

Her eyes were blinking slower & I thought great! She'd be asleep in no time!

And then...

"Mom, whats 'weak-butt'?"
I tried to explain, but couldn't help but laugh. :)

And for the next few minutes she repeated:

"weak-butt! (giggle giggle)...weak-butt! (giggle giggle)..."

I tried to finish the song but it was no use that time :)

So I laughed and fake-laughed all the way out the door...

I'll be more careful to pause in between particular words next time, but it's still a beautifully simple song with a world of meaning.

Jesus Loves Me, this I know

For the Bible tells me so,

Little Ones to Him belong,

They are weak but He is strong...

Yes Jesus Loves You

Yes Jesus Loves You

Yes Jesus Loves Me

The Bible tells me so...

....And so does the Holy Spirit tell me through nature, my sisters-in-Christ, my Christian & non-Christian friends/family alike, online readings, my neighbors, the world, people I meet, through His plan for my life, through my wonderful loving husband, and the fact that I have been entrusted with two amazing gifts wrapped up in the form of 23 perfectly beautiful pounds & 28 perfectly gorgeous pounds....

And this I know: I know that

I Love Jesus

&

JESUS LOVES ME!

Greeny

Having more fun with my new camera.....

Auntie Dugee & her new cool Ukulele

Hubbalicious

Ellie Lu Whoo wearing froggies

Orangey

A fun evening of Orange Bowling, Orange Soccer and an Orange Juice Floor

while Mommy tries out different cool features on our NEW camera!!

Enjoy:

Ellie Lately

Sweet Ellie Lu.

Almost 18 months old. A Beautiful girl with a growing personality. She is my baby and my little helper bee. Ellie is both sweet and sassy.

Her new favorite phrase is:

Why?

Her new favorite skills are:

Trying to go on the big-girl potty! Going from one chair to the next scoping out food left on anyone's plate, pushing chair to the snack cupboard, climbing onto chair to reach snacks, getting small bowl to pour snacks...(seriously, this girl loves her food~!)

She likes to:

Color on paper, build blocks, follow Sister, make sure she knows where her Momma is, hold my hands for small periods of time while walking, be held. :)

My sweet face crumbles. Crumbles! If I don't get to go with you out that door.

(Even if you were only going to take the trash out...)

Thumb sucker & hair twirler.

Never separately. Always simultaneously.

Never wanting to be left out of anything, including reading stories with sister, even if it means just looking at the pictures.

Upside down.

Smirks and half smiles, ever-expressive eyes.

Did my Momma already say I'm beautiful? Because I am.

Truly a Beautiful Beautiful girl.

Audrey's 3rd Bday

Since we're talking December... a very special little lady had a birthday.

Not just any birthday, her Third birthday.

First, a beautiful lavendar Tu-Tu handmade by her Aunt Lillian was joyfully worn all night.

We have small space and don't necessarily like the idea of a lot of people and a lot of gifts, so we kept it very small this year. Although, you wouldn't have known it by the fullness of our home! It was a fun evening with all the people closest to Audrey that took time away from what they were doing to show value on Audrey's little growing life.

We had enchiladas, special presents and a checkerboard chocolate/vanilla cake.

While everyone chatted I noticed little Missy was missing..

Where is the birthday girl anyway? Oh... there you are!

Sneaking a peak at your birthday cake! :)

"Ah! Mom it looks just like my favorite Movie! Toy Story 3 and I am three!"

She loved it. :)

Mmmmm

Eating Dinner--Full table!



Grandma Julie showing Audrey her next gift! A beautiful big girl bedspread!

New rule for next year: If YOU bring the gift, YOU put it together! :) None of this making the Dad do it, or last year was worse...Audreys Grandma Lu & her Great Grandma Warren put together a gift not given from either of them! New rule is officially in effect.

Life size Elmo!

(checkerboard cake inside)

Audrey with her two loving Grandmas

Saying goodbye to being Two years old...

Three.Years.Old

She turned 3 and never looked back...

(and for the record, she's been giving me a run for my money ever since!!)

Christmas....in March

Let's take a little stroll down memory lane, shall we?

Some of you may remember a little holiday a few months back that we like to call, Christmas! But it's MARCH right now, you say? Well, I have what I'd like to call "Chronological Disorder" It's a self-diagnosis of my inability to allow myself to post current pictures and our current status because something in the past is holding me back!! Right now, that thing is talking about our Christmas. Sooo...for the sake of this heavy weight I have on my shoulders to finally post these pictures then move on with our lives since then, I'd like to share our Christmas with you.

Ours was different and fun this year.

We got together with Aaron's family on the 23rd. Let me tell you, my friends, my Mother-in-law is Great. She is a practical woman whom I have been learning from since day 1. She also is always thinking of others, whether it be about things going on in their lives or gifts she thinks friends & family would enjoy. Year round she is thinking of others in regards to gifts especially! And let me tell you, Julie Roth really knows how to do it up during Christmas. We're talking Gifts Galore!! She and my sister-in-law, Lily, always choose such nice things for each of us. We had a delicious dinner & then it was present time. I didn't have as many Christmas pictures taken as I thought, but here are a few highlights....

Who's more excited for opening up their gifts here anyway??

Is this the face of Christmas or what? A floor full of ripped wrapping paper, a new favorite toy/animal and one happy, happy child. :)

The girls' Aunt Lillian and me.

Aaron had to work on Christmas Eve and Day (his first time in 6 years, we've been grateful!), so it took me up until that week to decide what to do. I didn't want to leave him, but I also didn't want to hang around the house like "any other day". We decided to have a quiet little family Christmas Eve, evening together. It was perfect. Girls napped beautifully that day. I was able to clean up and make an excellent dinner of ravioli and pasta sauce, shrimp scampi in angel hair pasta, etc, yummy yummy. After dinner we went into the living room to open stockings. My Grandma (their Great Grandma), handmade these stockings, which match my own blue stocking as a child. I LOVE that she made these for them!

...Getting excited to see whats inside!!!

Audrey had been telling me days in advance that "Maybe Santa will leave me a hat like his!!!" So two days before Christmas a little Elf, reluctantly, went and bought one at Walmart for $3, knowing it would only last the 3 days that it did. But boy was she happy to receive it!!!

Ellie loved posing with her stocking, but after digging a bit inside, she instead took great interest in the orange, used as a stuffer to fill up space..... Whatever makes her happy! :)

Enthralled by that darned ORANGE in her stocking...haha

I literally decided days before actual Christmas on what we'd be doing and then my Mom calls me and offers me a better deal I could not refuse. "How about we come over to your house? Oh and I will bring the entire dinner. Just make cookies with the girls."

What? Are you kidding? My Mom is wonderful!!!!!!!!

Audrey Pie & her Grandma Lu

She is always trying to make the easiest solution for others... Cooking for a group isn't exactly a strength of mine, and not having to pack us all up? Definitely an easier option for us. Aaron said at one point to me, "It's kind of a big deal, having your First Christmas at your house, right?" I had to laugh. Ummm....not sure if it really counts if I didn't attribute to 90% of the meal! But it still was fun to decorate and get ready for.

Anyway, so she & my Dad came over as the girls were waking up from naps. Entire delicious hot dinner and all. I made a side dish, cookies and we had wine/cider. Aaron got off work just as they were arriving. I only have one picture of our little family...

Our Christmas family

(sorry Ellie....you got hidden behind your Daddy..), but it was a very memorable fun Christmas. Even one of Aaron's co-workers, Dan, came over on his dinner break. Hopefully, we can start making inviting the guys that have to work holidays and don't have a full home and hot meal to go home to, a tradition to come enjoy it with us! (You don't mind cooking extras next year, right Mom?? haha, just kidding)

Grandma Lu, Grandpa Gerry & their little girls in their pretty Christmas dresses

Phew, I had enough leftover Turkey to make weeks worth of meals!! Thanks again Momma for all your help. You are the best! xo

The girls, of course, loved opening up their many presents. But I could tell, after being with Aaron's family for an early Christmas, our small little family for stockings and a few little gifts, and then being with my parents for more gifts, these girls were exhausted! We all were, I think.

But it was a fun, memorable Christmas, indeed.

.....okay, time to move on with my life! To my credit, it still IS winter until March 20th...soo... I'm good. :)