One Day at a Time

Dear Self,

6 or so months from now you will have forgotten all that your body entailed during the duration of your pregnancy.  You will, inevitably, see a pregnant Momma and wish for those feelings again.  You will wish to feel the same unknowns and uncertainty and anticipation as you see across every expectant Mother's face.  You will wish to feel those amazing movements that are truly indescribable, yet surreal.  You will long to not have to suck your stomach in during the "after baby" phase, wishing for a legitimate excuse to eat 8 times a day and all the questions and congratulations you get from strangers.  You will miss the attention all pregnant Mommas get.  You will miss feeling cute and confident.  You will miss the special treatment and extra helpful hands strangers offer.  You will miss the mesmerizing sight in the mirror of seeing your belly grow & expand from every imaginable angle.  You will miss all the pregnancy clothes that have sentimental value.  The sweater you wore with your first and third pregnancy.....the swimsuit you wore for your second and third pregnancy....those jeans...that cute top... It's possible that when your tiny baby is screaming his little head off for whatever reason he decides, that at that moment you will remember back to how truly "easy" you had it while he was on the -inside- quiet as can be, no demands.  You will wonder if you will ever be pregnant again.  You will begin to fantasize about future birth dates, future names and start to strategize the plan for your life...

STOP!

Open your eyes & look at your family and realize each one of them is a Gift Straight From God.  Realize His plan is the only plan you need to be concerned with.  And that concern is not worth dwelling over.  Realize, truly realize that all these things you long for is only because you have already experienced them.  That's Amazing.  The movements of life inside you is amazing.

Now since you are 6 months or more away from your pregnancy...you will also, inevitably, have forgotten all that your body entailed during the last several weeks of your previous pregnancy...

So let me remind you...

You may have forgotten what 6 months brought, so let me remind you that you had the stomach flu, food poisoning, a terrible and terribly lengthy head cold, a yeast infection and your first ever hemorrhoids.  It wasn't a great month. 

7 months only brought more bodily soreness.  Including, but not to be limited to...

Your feet hurt. Your back hurts. You have low energy after 3pm every day. Your stomach is all messed up...constipation...diarrhea... Your body has added stretch marks, despite the fact that you lathered yourself up and down with lotion every single day. You cannot see your own underwear.  If you sit too long your back hurts.  If you stand too long your feet hurt.  It is a 6-step process to get out of bed in the morning.  (Which is 6 steps too many when you really have to pee badly every morning) Your stomach has expanded soo much that you often feel it could literally split open because you are doubtful you have room to stretch any more.  The 30+ times a day braxton hick contractions that you once found very fascinating have begun to hurt the larger your belly grows.  You have a difficult time doing simple things you long for....bending over, piggy back rides, carrying your children longer than 2 minutes, laying on your back with out the weight hurting, playing hide & seek in small places & not feeling like you are going to throw up if you bend down, dropping something & simply picking it up, not being out of breath at the top of a flight of stairs... Did I mention your feet & back hurt?

You know you waddle and you're not okay with it.  You have to consciously not waddle.  And you sigh, a lot. 

You Are Uncomfortable!!!

Despite reading all of this I know you will still wish for all the wonderful parts of being pregnant.  And that is okay.  Because truly, it's wonderful you've ever been pregnant in the first place.  God is Good, and these discomforts are a small price to pay to be a part of a true miracle.  Three times. But for now, try to focus on what you have and do not worry about the future. 

One day at a time.

With Love,  Me.

 6 months--Photo by Audrey

7 months--Photo in Skamania

Pre School, Changes & Ellie's Heart

Audrey's first week of Pre-school began a few weeks ago.

It was also....

Ellie's first week of transitioning from not having a playmate.

First week with our "new" truck.

Daddy's first week of being "home" for the summer.

Mommy's first week to try to adjust to all these changes....

Audrey was super excited even getting dressed in her "school" outfit she had chosen earlier in the day, shoes & backpack and all & waited by the door at around 7pm the night before her first day of school.... I finally got through to her that this would just be a practice and that tomorrow would be her first day of school. Eager as ever, she got ready first thing the next morning and waited by the door for the 30minutes leading up to when we were to leave... :)

Time to say goodbye to sister!

(who truly had no idea what was coming--look how happy she is to hug & say goodbye to Audrey...)

Her Daddy chose to come home one day early from a special road trip, so that he could take his darling little Audrey to school on her first day. And also, in part, because we both weren't quite sure how she--and her Mommy!--would do, emotionally on this big step being "away". (Literally, 5 houses away...)

She was so excited to start school that she apparently had to be told to turn around to say goodbye & wave for pictures her Momma requested. :)

First day of Pre-school! What a big brave girl!!

And then there were the other two of us.

Ellie & Mommy.

Crying our little eyes out on the front porch.

Not really....having Ellie sobbing her little heart out was probably a distraction from any emotion I could have had. Truly though..Ellie Lu was heartbroken!

It was one of those sad & sweet moments of motherhood.

I tried comforting...she cried harder.

I tried distracting...she cried harder.

I tried offering a snack (this girl likes food)..she ate it but continued to cry.

Then I suddenly realized...this would be the first day all Summer that I only had one child with me. Which meant I could do something I've been longing to do since last Summer! I could take my ONE child on my bike seat with me!!

So away we went, just she & I.

My baby Girl.

She finally stopped crying as we rode away, we talked about what we saw, what we heard and I kept telling her how much I Love her.

She seemed to enjoy the ride and I LOVED IT!

Then we got back to the house just in time for a little snack.

Then I noticed the time & said it was time to go get Audrey.

Ellie RAN to get her shoes & started getting whiny & crying again.

She just could not handle the change! She loves her sister so much!

On our walk back home, Audrey saw that her Daddy had begun the walk to meet us.

She started yelling to him:

"Daddy! Daddy! I'm all done with school now!"

And ran, jumping into his eager waiting arms.

PRECIOUS!

Can you bottle this sweetness up??

Then we decided to take Audrey out to celebrate her first day of school in style.

With Frozen Yogurt!

My Dad & Brother Mike just opened up a yogurt shop nearby--FroYo Nation--a few days prior, so what a perfect opportunity for us to see it for the first time & as a special celebration for Audrey!

Grandma Lu met us down there, of course!

A spoonful of sweetness, makes the tears go away!?

Daddarazzi.

Two big girls, one little spoon.

Wait a minute.

And here's what we were riding in style in!

Our "new" purdy Blue, 2nd vehicle with carseats stick shift which I am actually enjoying learning how to drive, Truck!!!

As of Today Audrey has attended 9 days of school! The first 3 weeks were "transitional" days, so they were only one or two hours.

Today was her first day of all 3 hours. She seemed tired, but said she "just loves school!"

I really could not have seen it coming that she has so easily adjusted to this new change! She was truly ready for this! We knew she would like it eventually, but by day 3 when I took her and asked her to please come back to give me a hug before she ran off into the schoolroom...I knew that she really did love it, and that I'd be fine too. :)

Ellie.... has yet to have a tear-free day with out her sister. The first few days were rough :) I spent the majority of the time Audrey was away from us, comforting her sad little sister, Ellie. We watched Sesame Street & cuddled, we ate snacks, we did puzzles and built blocks, but there were stressful off & on tears. We visited a dear friend who just had a baby, we take walks around the neighborhood and we've spent a few of the days running errands. I can tell though, that we aren't in a good groove quite yet. Ellie is so emotional on Audrey's school days. My intention is that Ellie & I can have a sort of fun Mommy/Ellie time at home, maybe even doing our own school-at-home projects. Potty training was also on the to-do list this fall, but there seems to be too much going on to begin something big like that just yet. Maybe in another few weeks...

Audrey Lynn--your Daddy & I are so proud of you! On your very first day of school your two teachers told me you had "mastered it all & wanted to begin teaching the other children!" I was not surprised to hear that! :) And every day thereafter they have made similar comments about how well you are doing. You are like a little sponge, soaking all of the Goodness of the world in. And your Kindness to others is evident. I love that you love school! I pray for you every day you are away from me. Just know that we are proud of who God created--Beautiful You!!

Love, Your Momma who misses you.

Ellie Lu--We'll get there soon. I promise. We'll enjoy the time we have together before another big change comes and alters it for us. I plan to get to know you better and snuggle you up lots during this season. So please let me. My heart breaks when yours does, but we will be fine. Thank you for loving your sister so deeply! You are a Gift!

Love, Your Momma.

Breaking Away

Every Mommy deserves a little break from time to time. Does this mean we don't enjoy being Mommy's to our Littles? No, of course not! It means that our "job" is so taxing on our minds, bodys and souls that a little break away can sometimes revamp a heart to be eager to come back "to it all" again. My heart breaks and melts on a consistant basis, and generally, this is not part of a lot of jobs out there. Also, there are plenty of jobs that stretch into the wee hours of the night, or extend into weekends on occasion, but motherhood never ends. Ever. A blessing? Of course! Tiring, yes. Usually, all I need is every few weeks a 3-hr stretch of grocery or household shopping in town by myself. But every once in awhile I get away for a longer stretch and boy oh boy am I am grateful for those times!! It truly does make me eager to get back home by the time I am ready, I do miss the Girlies, but I can also admit that I get worn down like any other Mom out there and I can become a lazy irritable Mommy if my days begin to run together.

A few weeks back I went on a little day out by myself, with no real plans. Aaron anticipates he won't see me until it's dark out...which is nice he's not frantic at the surprise if my 3-hrs actually take 12. I began my day garage saleing...is that the right term? I have never in my life been "garage saleing"...but I had some cash and thought it'd be fun! Found a couple good buys! Then I headed out to lunch, by myself, made by someone else, cleaned up by someone else. This is sometimes my favorite part of being alone. Food with no prep work, clean up or other's to feed! I know that sounds lazy, I really don't mind cooking for my family, but it's nice to have a break every so often. It feels like a special treat, even if I just get fast food. Then I went to one of my favorite places to shop.........one hour away from home. A nice quiet drive in the country to get there, it was lovely! Then I had a decaf starbucks frappacino....another treat for this girl who never orders herself a coffee! Then I did some calling around and compared prices and got a pedicure!!! Oh boy, what a nice thing to do for yourself. I hadn't had one in years, it was just as relaxing as I remember. Then I ate some sushi (fake kind for de bebe), and drove my pretty little toed self back home.

Then a few weeks after that my sis-in-law, Lily, and I were talking about how fun it would be to go away for a night together....that lead to us almost instantly booking a hotel at the nearby casino for a big night away. (Her first since her honeymoon 7 yrs ago--woo-hoo!!!!)

We . had . a . BLAST!

We ate their fabulous famous buffet. Oh boy. It was delicious. I won't tell you how many times we went back for more, but at one point they cleared our table & drinks assuming we must be done...then we came back carrying our plate of desserts. :) I'm not going to lie, I had a Dr. appointment that morning, and another one the following week....and I had gained ONE pound in a week, most likely due to our plates upon plates of deliciousness.

(also...for those that don't know, one pound in a week is a lot at this stage of pregnancy...since, ya know the baby didn't even weigh a pound yet...so I can't blame it on baby weight...just Piggy Mommy weight, apparently)

Then we spent quite a while wondering around the casino looking very confused. We'd try a slot machine, then lose instantly...try another one win a few times...we had no idea how they worked. haha! We spent a good portion of our time very confused as to how we were losing or winning?!

Besides the fact that we look really young (right? right?? please tell me we're not past that stage yet...), and the combination of literally looking very confused....we were surprised no one came by and carded us, since there are a bazillion cameras in that place. No joke. A bazillion.

Then we found two machines in the non-smoking section side-by-side that seemed to treat us well. For staying in the casino hotel we were each given a $5 voucher for the casino games, so with that $5, plus only another $5 of our own money, we really were fairly smart about it..... Other than not cashing out when I was ahead...dangit! I came out with about $18....but spent the last $3 ones they gave me on the walk out...and lost them in a matter of seconds. It was sad how fast I lost that, yikes. So...correction...I walked out with $15, and Lily won $25 I think? Not bad for our first time ever. I had more cash in my purse but Lily convinced me otherwise....smart girl. Once we lost our last few bucks, cashed out what we had won, we were pretty tired so we ventured back to the hotel room. It was only 10:30pm!! haha We were both sure we'd be out late "living it up", but after that delicious meal our tummy's were pretty full and smelling that smokey casino for too long was making our beds call us that much more.

We ended up staying up until 130am or so just talking about everything imaginable. It was a lot of fun, and a lot of laughing! And thankfully we were still awake that late because right before 1am the smoke alarm started blaring in our room!! I peeked out the hallway and saw others doing the same. No doubt someone was lighting it up in their non-smoking room. It just added to the excitement of "getting away", so we didn't mind that much. :)

The next morning we had breakfast, checked out and headed to the beach, about 30min away! It was an absolutely beautiful day at the beach!!! I didn't take a single picture but it was lovely. We went to the outlets and of course being away from our children didn't stop us from talking about them and shopping for them! :) We found some cute things for them and for ourselves. Ate some lunch, then headed back home. We had such a fun time. At one point in our getaway I started to say how I thought we should plan to do this..... and Lily interrupted.. "Every 3 months!" I was going to say once a year...but okay!!!! haha :)

It was a hilarious reality check coming back into my house because I had two very adorable very eager and happy girls come running to hug me and then all of a sudden things went completely haywire and they both were crying pushing eachother away and demanding I hold them separately... Oh boy. As I sat on the couch with each little monkey hanging off of each of my shoulders and kicking eachother (and me) with their little feet, as I tried to explain to Aaron what a wonderfully relaxing fun time we had just had......All I could do was laugh.

Welcome home Mom!!!

Has it been three months yet??

Catching up Recap

It has been an extremely busy last 2 months around here. I haven't been able to even mentally blog about one part of it all, let alone put pen to paper (fingers to computer...). So, I thought the best and easiest way for me to recap everything in one swoop is to recap the last two months in pictures with maybe a brief description. All of these pictures probably deserve a post in itself, and maybe someday when things slow down for 24 hours I may be able to get to it....but for now, with no further adieu...

My Life in Pictures, in Order:

(literally this all happened in less than 8 weeks)

Walks & bike rides on our vacation to Beautiful Central Oregon with Aaron's family.

Each night after the children were in bed Lily & I would collaborate our crafts and fun things to do for the girlies to find in their "Fun Boxes" as a surprise in the morning.

Chloe wasn't quite having the picture sesh...but how cute are they? This is Aaron's brother Ryan, my friend & sis-in-law Lily, and their two beautiful children. Chloe & Sawyer. Love getting together with them for overnighters or vacations, it grows our relationship so much with quality time aside from the distracted time cute babies running around can be.

Finally had a break in the rainy Spring to do some gardening. Audrey actually planted the entire garden this year, with only my direction as to where to place seeds. I would say she is to blame if it backfires...but we now have a bountiful harvest!!




Speaking of this girl, we signed Audrey up for a nearby (5 houses away) in-home Montessori-based preschool for the fall. 3 hrs a day, 3 days a week. Wonderful gifted caring teacher and Audrey already has a few neighbor friends that attend. We think she will do wonderfully. The verdict is still out on how this Mommy will do emotionally in the Fall....


When you give her the letters, Audrey enjoys writing out names. We think she will fit in just fine in this little pre-school.... (Top to bottom: Audrey, Ellie, Mom, Dad, Lucy)

First time copying the letters to her own name!!

I could post the other 18 pictures of different angles of this exact picture...but I think you get the idea. I AM PROUD!

First family vacation as a family of 4 (?...) to Bend!

So proud of their Daddy for his role in the Pole, Pedal, Paddle Race!!!

....And then we wound up in the Bend hospital for 3 extra unplanned for days.

A very sad sight: My child pushing her oxygen cart around the "playroom" in the pediatric ward.

Ellie had a fun time playing and resting at the nearby Ronald McDonald house with her Daddy.

Got to spend a long rare weekend with my parents in NASHVILLE, TN! Such a fun trip! I hope I can post more on this later.... Here my Mom & I are goofing around w/children's cowgirl hats she bought for the girls at the Grand Ole Opry Store.

The actual stage!

My Mom just hanging out with Michael W. Smith, you know, when he invited us (and 600 others) to his family's farm. It was beautiful. And hot.

Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville in downtown Nashville.

(One of these drinks had to be non-alcoholic...)

Girls had a BLAST hanging out with their other Grandma and Grandpa while Mommy & Daddy were on their trip! 5 days out on the farm? What could be better!

Leading the new Miniature horsies around!!!!

How cute are they???

Apparently this happened recently too.

This is not my manicured hand, nor is it my actual pee test. But the results were the same.

Yup, I'm pregnant!

Here's Proof:

(These are also not my test(s), I found this picture online and it made me laugh...I only took one test, but this picture is how I felt. Pregnant? ...that can't be right... Positive? ...No, just one more test will be more accurate... I'm still pregnant?)

...More on baby news later...